Hydro-sodomites!

I'm not sure how this could have been delivered orally (by the judge reading it out in open court after hearing argument), the temptation to giggle would have been enormous:

"The appellant, Mr McLachlan, adheres to the belief that certain retail vendors in the hydroponic plant growing industry practise the distribution of poisonous plant food or chemicals. He also believes that those who sell or condone the sale of poisonous plant food are sodomites, and that all sodomites have direct passage to hell. That, he says, is the Lord’s verdict...

To each of these complainants Mr McLachlan sent faxes alleging that hellfire and damnation would fall upon them for selling poisonous plant food or assisting those who do so. He made what the Judge found were threats of death and destruction. For example, a fax he sent on 29 September 2009 to Mr Hawkins stated:

Dear Sodomite your life “was” numbered in years, then months, and now only days! It was 11 months ago that the good book was thrown at you....
And the Lord said unto Hawkin’s behold thy days approach that thou must die!...

 

Mr McLachlan was charged with three offences under s 112(2)(a) of the Telecommunications Act 2001, one for each complainant. The subsection provides [for the misuse of telephone devices]..."

 

This is perhaps the most interesting real point in the judgment, yay for epistemiology:

 

"The District Court Judge held that each of the complainants was threatened with hellfire and brimstone. Further, a sodomite is now understood as a person who practices or commits sodomy, rather than the ancient meaning of someone who is struck down for their sins and takes a direct passage to hell. He found that Mr McLachlan knew the word sodomite was offensive, and sent the faxes because no one was listening to his concerns about the hydroponics industry...

Mr McLachlan argued today on appeal that he merely conveyed the Lord’s verdict on selling poisonous plant food. He did so because he had been unsuccessful over a number of years in having the practice stopped. He has sworn an oath that sodomites shall not ply their trade and if the complainants were upset by the faxes, it was a “verdict of guilt”."

 

The appeal was not unsurpisingly dismissed. 

McLachlan v Police, 29 June 2010.